To Trust and Love
by Jordy0401
Summary: Her hips buckled of their own accord as she whispered his name raggedly against his lips. She couldn’t believe that they were doing this here, on the steps of the school, in plain sight of everyone. A C/B fanfic/
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl I certainly wouldn't be writing fan fiction about the show. I would be writing Vanessa's immediate death into the script instead. Alas, I own nothing.

Also this follows the current storyline just with my own things mixed in. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

His hand slid along her creamy thigh and attempted to maneuver itself underneath her skirt. "Chuck! No!" Her voice was stern, her tone sharp as she kept dutifully upon her task of reading the chapter assigned to them last night in Mrs. Kendall's class.

Of course Blair had already read the chapter dedicated to the judicial system last night. Twice. But Yale didn't accept just anybody among their freshmen you know. And yes technically she was already as good as in but Blair Waldorf had to prove that she was _meant _to be there.

Which was why she was rereading the homework assignment for the third time on the steps of the school before it officially started when Chuck decided to distract her with a little bit of fun.

"Chuck! No!" Her voice was stern and commanding and hell if it didn't turn him on more. He wrapped his arms around her waist and then plucked her from the steps, arranging her to sit in his lap.

Her textbook fell to the ground forgotten as his tongue traced her ear. "Yes," he growled in response to her reprimanding. Blair gasped and then quickly moaned as he moved his talented mouth to her neck.

This time Blair couldn't find the words to stop him as Chuck continued his earlier destination with his hands, sliding them underneath her skirt to reach the red scrap of lace she had worn today just for him.

He groaned into her neck and crashed his lips into hers in a passionate and bruising kiss. Blair arched her back and battled his tongue for control of the kiss but then his fingers slipped past the barrier of her panties and slid inside of her and Blair couldn't remember what she had been trying to do earlier to be honest.

Her hips buckled of their own accord as she whispered his name raggedly against his lips. She couldn't believe that they were doing this _here_, on the steps of the school, in plain sight of everyone. But Blair was too far gone with lust to care if people had stopped on the sidewalk to watch a free show or if Iz and Penelope were making a sex video of it now to send to Gossip Girl later. She just didn't care.

The only thing she did care about was the feeling that was rapidly approaching upon her like a tidal wave. She let out a breathless moan and dug her nails into his shoulders. His school jacket covered him and Blair knows that the pressure of her nails doesn't hurt him but she wishes it would. He kind of likes the pain and she likes whatever he likes.

She whispers his name again, a lust-filled "Chuck!" And he brings her over the edge just like th-

Blair jerks to attention with a start and she looks around the classroom wildly, making sure that no one is paying any special, over-the-top attention to her. A sigh of relief slides past her lips as she realized her dirty thoughts will remain her own.

_God there is something wrong with me. _She thinks as she shoots Mrs. Kendall a brilliant smile to reassure the woman that she does in fact give two shits as to whatever the lady is rambling on about.

_I need help. Serious, serious help. Like intuitional help. I wonder if Eric is still on good terms with any of the doctors from that place he was sent to. His father just died and he is headed on a one way road towards a complete and destructive breakdown and yet I can't stop having sexual dreams about Chuck Bass. Dear God there is some thing wrong with me._

She takes in a few deep breaths and then sends Iz a fake smile when the girl glances over at her curiously. She's not sure why she cares so much about Chuck. Especially when he left her in the middle of the night with nothing but a sad, little note stating that she deserved better.

She scoffs a little under her breath at that one. _Of course she deserves better. She's Blair fucking Waldorf. She deserves a guy that will say I Love You back when she pours her heart out to him. She deserves a guy that will stick around the morning after being vulnerable around her. But that's not what she wants…. Not really. She wants the guy that's broken her heart in a million pieces not once but twice now. And more than that. She needs him. Needs him to exist, needs him to feel alive. Needs him because she's irreversibly in love with him and always will be. _

_Dear God I need help. _She thinks, not for the last time.

He's hungover. It's the first thought he has when he awakes and the only thought he has for a while until reality starts to creep in. He remembers his father's funeral, Blair's I Love You. He remembers spending the past three weeks holed up in a hotel room with nothing but endless bottles of his friend Jack before the pounding knock that came on his door last night and lead to him being here now.

His forehead is pressed against the cool surface of the table they sit at,on the private jet of the plane that is flying him back home. If he was being honest, Chuck really had no idea as to the location he had been in the last few weeks and he decided against asking. It didn't really matter where they jad been. All that mattered was that they were going home, back to New York, back to the Upper East Side.

Chuck stole a sideways glance at his uncle, Jack Edward Bass himself. Chuck hadn't seen the man in years. They had only met once before. Jack had breezed into town and Chuck would never forget the look on his father's face at seeing his brother calmly sitting in the kitchen beside Chuck as Bart had stepped through the doorway.

It was the same look his father had given him more times than Chuck could count. That disgusted look that was a mix of disappoint and frustration. Up until that moment the thirteen year-old boy thought that that particular look was only reserved for him. To see it aimed at somebody else aroused Chuck's curiosity greatly.

He had spent the entire next day with his uncle Jack. The man had insisted that he blow off school to conquer more important tasks with him. They had gone to a nice restaurant where Chuck sat in on a meeting as Jack and some of his business associates discussed opening an upscale club.

Later they went to a strip club, it was his first and he loved the feeling that being around Jack gave him…. almost as much as he loved watching the girls. Jack Bass was a powerful man. He blackmailed people to get what he wanted. Knew secrets that others would kill for and the women…. They flocked to Jack as if he were a demi-God or something.

He had left the next day but Chuck Bass had been changed by the experience. He had never been a good little boy before, not like Nate. He was the mischievous, daring one in the group but after that day, something changed. He became more than what he was, he became _Chuck Bass. _The rich and pompous asshole who was only known for two things, drinking and his womanizing ways.

The first characteristic was still true but much couldn't be said about the second one. There was only one woman that he wanted these days. Her face came to him instantly and Chuck had to fight the urge to call her, just so he could hear her sweet voice insult him.

She had said them. Said the words that they had both silently agreed to never say_. "The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything."_ Chuck groaned and banged his head on the table. "That's not going to help your headache." Jack informed him before going back to read The New York Times.

_"Because I love you."_ He had done the best thing for her, leaving. He wasn't good enough for her. Never had been and never will be. Certainly not now. Hell he was more broken and twisted than he was before and Blair…..She deserved a knight in shining armor not a hungover bastard with more baggage than a freight train could carry.

And yet he couldn't help but to wonder if she would be happy to see him. Would she had missed him. Probably not, if anything she was more than likely pissed at him for running off in the middle of the night with only a note to comfort her in the morning.

He teased himself with the agony of the situation. Perhaps she would be just the tiniest bit thrilled to see him. Just because then she would know he was okay and not dead in the ditch somewhere. Chuck would be happy with that reaction. Hell he would be happy just to see her again.

He wondered if she would yell at him for leaving or if she would just walk past him maintaining indifference as if he were just a meaningless speck in her perfect little universe. Both options were possible and Chuck spent the entire plane ride back deciding which option would be more likely to happen.

"I just don't understand him you know? I mean we broke up what right does he have to tell me to stay." Blair raised an eyebrow at her best friend. "You do realize that you already spent the last two weeks on vacation with Aaron so what does it matter why Humptrey-Dumpty wanted you to stay?"

Blair catches Serena's guilty look right away and rolls her eyes in annoyance. "Seriously I thought you were getting over Brooklyn." "I am," Serena interjects defensively. "Kind of," she adds softly a few moments later.

Blair sighs as they arrive at their destination, the Place. "Look if you care so much S then talk to him. Clear the air and get a better outlook on things." Serena shakes her goddess mane of blonde hair and then asks, "Are you coming in?"

Blair never gets a chance to answer as a limo pulls up beside them and the Devil himself appears. "Blair," he says her name like a prayer and it takes everything she has not to rush into his arms and beg him never to leave her again.

Instead she smiles at him sweetly while she brings the heel of her Marc Jacobs, Mary Janes down onto his own foot. He lets out a grunt of pain and she only steps close enough to hiss, "Basshole" before turning around and walking down the street like nothing had just occurred.

His face turns up in a smirk as Serena looks on with a small smile and Jack looks at him with concern. He should have figured that Blair would be unpredictable in her actions. Her somewhat erratic behavior was one of the many reasons he loved her so fucking much. _Dear God he needed help._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl I certainly wouldn't be writing fan fiction about the show. I would be writing Vanessa's immediate death into the script instead. Alas, I own nothing.

Also this follows the current storyline just with my own things mixed in. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2

**abby-tabitha**: I'm glad you enjoyed it and yes I am planning for this to be a multi-chapter fic.

**XcrossingjordanX **: Thanks so much! I'm glad you are enjoying it so far. And can I just add on a shallow note that I love your screen name. My name is Jordan. Lol.

**moarchair247**: Thanks for pointing out which line you liked. I enjoy feedback.

**Imaginationrunsfree**: That episode was great wasn't it? Glad you're enjoying it.

**bluestriker666**: Lol! Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it.

**xcrazyangelx1800**: Sorry it took so long for an update. Finals are a bitch.

**Ella**: Your compliment was so sweet. Thank you. I was a little nervous about it so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

* * *

Chapter 2

He's in his suite at the Palace when she knocks on his door. His eyes are bloodshot and his uniform is wrinkled; both of these factors combined with the sneer that appears at seeing her lead Lily to flinch as she stands in the open doorway.

"I heard you were back," the blonde states softly. "I wanted to see how you were." "I'm fine," he declares with no emotion. "Was that all?" He asks his former-stepmother with more than a little sharpness laced in his voice.

He had this fantasy once. It seemed like lifetimes ago when in reality it was just a few short weeks. In this alternate reality of his Lily came to really love his father and they became a family, the five of them. A family that loved one another, a family that trusted one another.

A family. That's all Chuck Bass ever really wanted. A dark smile crosses his lips as it occurs to him that he'll never have a family. There's absolutely no hope for him now. He's a fucking orphan and a part of him thinks that he always has been where it counts.

Lily sighs and enters his suite without an invitation. "Alright, I confess I have another reason for coming here this morning Charles." Chuck's expression doesn't change and Lily reveals, "We miss you. Me and Eric and even Serena but she'll die before ever admitting it." She pauses for a moment to gauge his reaction but he doesn't give one.

"We want you to come back. Back to the suite upstairs to live with us. In a time like now we all need to be around family." She moves forward and rests a motherly hand on his shoulder. "We're not family," he informs her coldly as he moves away from her touch.

Lily nods her head in agreement at his words, "Maybe not in the most basic definition. We're not blood related, we're not even connected through a marriage anymore but family means more than that Charles. Family is the people you surround yourself with. The people that love you and care for you. You may not consider the Van der Woodsens your family Charles but we still consider you ours."

He doesn't quite know how to react to that. So they both stand there quiet, the silence growing thick between them. When he speaks his voice is rough and unpolished, "I couldn't." He shakes his head furiously, "Not with HIM in the picture." He spits out and Lily nods her head in understanding.

It takes her a minute or two to confess the truth, "My mother decided to take it upon herself to tell Rufus the truth…..about the baby. He can't even look at me." Her voice is filled with pain and regret and just for a split-second Chuck feels sorry for her.

But then the moment is gone and he tells himself that the woman in front of him simply reaped what she sowed or whatever that stupid phrase is. The fact of the matter is Karma is a tricky bitch that always gets her way in the end. Something Chuck has learned on more than one occasion himself.

Lily clears her throat as she emerges from her self-thrown pity party, "Rufus isn't in the picture and he won't be so please consider my offer. Eric really misses you. You're the brother he never had." She tells him with a soft smile.

She looks as if she wants to do more, to give him a hug or some other friendly gesture but she doesn't and chooses instead to give him another small smile before turning to leave. "Tell him I'm sorry." His words prompt Lily to turn back around. "For the things I said at the funeral. Tell Eric I'm sorry." Lily just gives him another soft smile, "Tell him yourself." She suggests gently before turning and leaving the way she came.

Blair and Serena reach the school and seconds later S is abandoning her and rushing off to _not_ flirt with Brooklyn. Blair simply rolls her eyes at her best friends behavior and wonders if she should give her new stepbrother a little advance warning as to what's to come with his relationship with Serena but ultimately shakes the thought away.

_Why ruin the surprise and impending drama that lay ahead._ She thinks as she makes her way up the school steps towards Iz and Penelope. They're both busy at work harassing a blonde that Blair passes off as being a freshman until she gets closer.

Her eyes widen at the sight of Little J back in her Constance Billiard uniform. "What's going on?" Blair asks as she reaches them. "Nothing," Hazel answers. "We were just giving Little J here a warm Constance welcome back." Blair nods her head slowly before turning to take in Jenny.

The blonde looks on the verge of ripping Penelope's extensions out, her eyes narrowed in anger and her tiny fists clenched by her sides. _My my my! Look who's grown up. A year ago Little J would be in tears over getting treated this way. Now she's just pissed off._ Blair isn't sure what it is exactly that prompts her into linking Jenny's arm with hers. But in the next moment she's doing it all the same.

She gives the blonde a nudge and Jenny begins to walk inside the school leaving the three wannabes in their wake. "What are you doing?" Jenny quietly whispers as they continue to walk down the hallway.

"I'm walking towards my locker. I'm not sure what _you're_ doing here. Why the hell you would want to come back to a school that pretty much hates you is beyond me." They reach Blair's locker and Blair unhooks her arm from Jenny's to retrieve her books for her next class.

Jenny leans against a locker as she releases a large sigh, "I'm trying to prove something to your clones. To myself. I don't know which it is anymore. And besides no one would hate me if you hadn't ordered it."

Blair gives a nonchalant shrug, "It was war Jenny. There are no casualties in war. At least not in the big leagues." "I got in over my head," Jenny admitted. "I get that now but….I did something." "The infamous see-through dress you gave She-Brooklyn to wear. I heard all about it, saw the pictures too."

"I shouldn't of done it," Jenny says her voice regretful. "No, Blair agreed, you should have done worse." Jenny rolled her eyes, "The point is I feel like I have to prove myself here. That I have to show I can be a better person." Blair turned to her and smiled, "He gave you the speech didn't he?"

"What speech? Who are you talking about?" Blair shuts the door to her locker and then explains, "Nate. He gave you the whole _why do you have to be so manipulating_ speech didn't he?" Jenny frowned, "It was more of a _You're not who I thought you were_ speech."

Blair scoffs and rolls her eyes, "Same old Nate." She mutters. Her and Jenny continue talking as they take the doors that lead them to outside. It's there that she sees him. He's drunk off his ass and Nate is the only thing that is supporting his ass from hitting the ground.

Blair merely shakes her head in disappointment at the sight before turning to Jenny, "Save me a seat on the steps at lunch." She then turns to head down in his direction but Jenny's voice stops her, "So are we like friends now?" The blonde asks uncertain of everything that has just happened in the last ten minutes.

Blair just rolls her eyes at the blonde, "Don't be such a girl about it." She marches over to Chuck intent on finding out why he's drunk at eight in the morning but she doesn't get very far before she sees the headmistress Ms. Queller headed directly towards Chuck.

She acts instinctively, she tells herself that if given time to think about it she won't be saving Chuck from the possibly of expulsion but instead lavishing it up that he is finally getting what he deserves. It's pure impulse that places her in front of Headmistress Queller, blocking the woman's view of Chuck. That's what she tells herself anyway.

A few moments later Ms. Queller is headed away from Chuck and Nate and towards the girls bathroom where two teenagers are supposedly engaging in sexual actives. _Hell at this school it probably isn't even a lie. I just hope it isn't S and Humphrey Dumpty that get caught going at it._

Nate gives her a thankful look as he continues trying to help Chuck up the stairs of St. Judes. "Oh just forget it!" Blair cries. "Classes start any minute now and he's completely wasted."

Nate helps lower Chuck down onto the steps and the Bass puts his head into his hands. "What do you suggest we do then?" Nate asks. The bell rings and Blair resists the urge to run a frustrated hand through her hair.

"Get him back into the limo. Get coffee in him, whatever it takes to sober him up but we have to hurry if a teacher sees they won't hesitate to expel him after everything he's pulled these last few weeks."

"He's having a rough time," Nate states defensively as he lugs one of Chuck's arms over his shoulder to carry him back down the stairs and towards the limo. Blair grabs his other arm and tries to help to the best of her ability.

"I didn't say he wasn't. But he can't keep going like this. He's Chuck Bass, that doesn't make him invincible." "Are you both aware that I can hear every word you're saying," Chuck slurred.

Nate just rolled his eyes but Blair quickly jabbed him in the side with a sharp fingernail. "Shut your mouth Bass or I'll do it for you." "Aww…. I love it when she gets all dominating with me," Chuck told Nate with a drunk smirk on his face. Nate couldn't help the laughter that escaped him and Blair shot him a nasty glare over the top of Chuck's head.

The duo set their highly intoxicated friend up in the back of the limo. "Maybe we should have the driver just take him back to the Palace. Let him sleep it off." Nate suggested. Blair shook her head no; "Jack promised that he would be back at school today. He has to attend at least some classes."

"Okay so you stay with him now, load him up with coffee and try to keep him awake and I'll be back after first period." "W-W-Wait!" Blair grabbed a hold of Nate's arm before he could leave her alone with the Devil. "Why do I have to stay with him? Why can't you?"

"I have a history test I have to take. Cancel that, I have a history test I have to _pass_. I can't stay with him right now. It'll just be for first period I can come back during second, he'll be awake and sober in time for lunch."

Blair bit her lip and then finally let out a muttered, "Fine." Nate nodded his head and then turned to head inside, "You're an ass for choosing She-Brooklyn over Jenny by the way!" Blair tossed over her shoulder at Nate before hesitantly climbing into the limo with Chuck.

Blair thanked the woman behind the counter for the cup of coffee she was handed and then exited the Starbucks restaurant. She instructed the driver to take them back to school and then handed the cup to Chuck.

"I don't want it," he muttered. His head in his hands. Blair released a frustrated sigh, "Drink it anyway." Chuck raised his head and looked at Blair, "I don't want it." "I don't fucking care what you want! Drink the goddamn coffee!" She yelled.

He sullenly took the coffee from her hands and drank it slowly. The limo pulled up in front of the school and Blair took a peak at her watch. _Oh joy! Only twenty more minutes of hell._

"Why are you even here?" He asked his voice scratchy and rough. "I have no idea," she informed him quietly. "Then why don't you just leave." Blair let out a sharp laugh, "God! You would like that wouldn't you? Then you could be all alone. You know you're such an asshole! You have all these people that care about you and you can't even give a damn!"

"Why should I?" He hissed, staring at her in the eye for the first time since she climbed into this limo with him. "Because people don't wait forever Chuck." Her voice cracked a little at the end despite how much effort she tried to put into keeping it steady.

He opened his mouth to say something, what she would never know as in the next instant the door was opened by Nate. Blair hopped out of the limo quickly and didn't spare a glance behind her as she headed inside.

"What is that?" Blair asked Cyrus curiously as she came into the kitchen later that day. "Apple cake, taste." He ordered scooping some up on a fork and posing it at the entrance for Blair's mouth. Blair took a little bite of the dish and deemed it delicious before turning to head up towards her room.

"Um…Blair; Dear have you talked to your mother yet?" Blair shook her head no, "Why is something going on?" "Well….yes. You see there happens to be this minor inconvenience that we need to discuss." "Okay," Blair declared warily. "You and mom aren't having a baby are you?"

"Oh Good Heavens No!" Eleanor declared as she stepped into the kitchen. "Why? Do I look pregnant?" She looked at Cyrus with fear in her eyes. "I knew I gained weight! Marcia has been looking at me funny all week! I knew there was a reason!"

Blair rolled her eyes and once again headed upstairs towards her room. Whatever this "minor inconvenience" was Cyrus could tell her later, after Eleanor's mini-freak out. Blair opened the door to her room and topped dead in her tracks. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Aaron looked up from where he was hanging a rather large painting on her wall. "Didn't my dad tell you? My apartment flooded I have to stay here for a couple of weeks." "Well that's great and all but I repeat, what the hell are you doing in _my_ room? Why are you hanging that God-awful thing on _my_ wall? And oh dear Lord did you actually put _cardboard boxes_ on my carpet!" Blair shrieked.

Aaron let out a sigh before turning around to face her, "Okay first of all, your room is my room; temporary at least. Secondly, _this_, Aaron gestured towards the painting, is a work of art. Kindly do not insult it. And third, it's carpet, he whispered, get over it."

"NO! NO! NO!" Blair shrieked, "You and your crappy piece of art can go stay in the guest bedroom down the freaking hall. Also this is the softest carpet money can buy." Aaron smiled, a slow and mocking smile that had Blair reevaluating her decision not to mention Dan and Serena's rapidly growing "friendship." "Guest bedroom is being remodeled princess. So did you want the left side of the room or the right? Your choice roomie." Blair opened her mouth and did the only thing she could think of, "MOTHER!"


	3. Chapter 3

I disclaim and all that good stuff. Thanks to those who reviewed.

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Chapter 3

_She was going to kill him!_ Blair Waldorf thought angrily. She was going to grab one of his stupid paintbrushes and shove it through his heart. If he even had a heart. "What are you doing?" She asked through gritted teeth.

Aaron simply held up the camera that he had in his hands and gestured towards the half-naked redhead that was lounging on HER bed. "It's for my new collage." "Well do you mind taking the Maxim shoot elsewhere?" Blair asked in a sickly-sweet tone complete with a fake happy smile.

The redhead on the bed dropped her mouth open in an insulted manner. "Who is she?" She asked in a nasal voice. Aaron just rolled his eyes and went back to taking photos of the girl. "My sister. Just ignore her, everyone does."

"_Step_-sister," Blair stressed. "STEP!" Aaron just made a grimace of annoyance that made Blair even more pissed off than before. They had only been sharing a room for the past two days and already Blair had dubbed Aaron "The Roommate From Hell" "I can not wait until Serena dumps your ass," Blair tossed the insult behind her as she left the room.

"You have to ask me to move in with you," Blair declared as Serena opened the door. "What?" The blonde asked a tinge of laughter in her voice. Blair entered the foyer and Serena shut the door behind her. "You have to ask me to move in with you," Blair repeated.

"I can't take anymore S. Okay you're boyfriend is a complete imbecile. He's obnoxious and tedious not to mention he lets half-naked models lounge around my bed like it's nothing. Do you know how many diseases my bedspread probably has by now."

Serena placed a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter as Blair continued ranting. The fired-up brunette was pacing back and forth frantically as she continued with her tirade. "I mean it S. I'm going to smother that boyfriend of yours in his sleep if you don't get me away from him. We barely function as step-siblings, as roommates it's a capital offense waiting to happen!"

"Wait! You and Aaron are roommates…. How the hell did that happen?" A confused Serena demanded to know. "How indeed…." A velvety voice murmured from the doorway.

Blair groaned softly to herself, she would know that voice anywhere. "Well come on B, we're waiting," Chuck declared as he stepped into the room with the other two girls. "How did Aaron go from being annoying step-brother to co-ed roommate?"

Blair simply smiled and raised an eyebrow, "Jealous much? Don't worry Chuck I only wear my best lingerie to bed." Chuck's nostrils flared in anger and jealously over her words.

_If Aaron had seen her in anything other than footy pjs than he was a dead artist walking._ Chuck thought venomously as he carefully studied Blair's actions. A few moments later Chuck relaxed; she was lying about the lingerie, he was sure of it. Thank God he could read that woman like an open book when she was lying, otherwise life would be hell on earth for him.

Blair let out a frustrated sigh as she saw Chuck visibly relax. "Don't you have a shot of penicillin to go take from whatever disease you caught today." She asked irritably. Chuck merely chuckled on his way out. "Don't be so tense B. We're going to be seeing a lot of each other from now on," he whispered into her ear. "Doubtful," Blair spat at she pulled away from him.

Chuck walked out of the room with a smile on his face. What neither girl knew was that Chuck had spent the last two hours moving all of his stuff back into his old room at the Van der Bass suite. He had held doubts at his decision to take Lily up on her offer to move back in and to try to become a family again but all those doubts vanished when he saw her standing in the foyer with dear old sis, rambling on about how she has to move in with Serena pronto. Chuck let a smirk pass his face, _Oh yes….him and Blair were going to see a lot more of each other soon enough. He would make sure of that._

Serena rolled her eyes and hid a smile as she took in Blair watching Chuck walk away. "Seriously?" Blair turned her attention back towards the bubbly blonde. "You and my boyfriend sharing a room….kind of something I should know about don't you think?"

Blair graced her best friend with a sheepish smile, "I'm sorry. I figured he would of told you." "Well we haven't really seen each other these past few days," Serena admitted. "But we are going to a French film tonight."

Blair widened her eyes and feigned excitement, "Crazy times lay ahead!" Serena laughed and gave Blair a little playful push. "Anyway you know you can always stay here B. I'll tell mom that you're staying with us for a few weeks. You know she won't care, she loves you. Besides being roomies is something we haven't done in a while."

"Since Albert," Blair chimed in naming one of Lily's numerous boyfriends that had sent Serena running towards the Waldorf house on a nightly basis just to get a good nights sleep. "Oh that's right!" Serena sighed, "God I hated that guy!"

"So…." Serena hooked one of her arms through Blair's and pulled the brunette down the hallway. "Tell me more about Aaron and this skank on your bed." Blair's laughter echoed down the hallway.

When Chuck returned a few hours later he found Eric struggling with a rather large Louis Vuitton luggage case. Chuck stood against the wall and watched in amusement as the scrawny teenager tried to pull the suitcase up the stairs. After a few moments he gave up and the luggage was sent crashing to the bottom of the stairwell.

"Blair won't like that very much," Chuck remarked as he headed up the steps to meet his brother. "Why do I get the distinct feeling that Blair doesn't know that you're back to living right down the hall?"

The smirk on Chuck's face told Eric everything that he needed to know. "She's going to kill you," Eric declared. "Possibly…." Chuck murmured as he headed further upstairs towards the sound of girlish voices and laughter.

They were both in the guest bedroom that connected to Serena's room, putting Blair's stuff up and her clothes in the closet. Chuck stood against the door and eavesdropped as he thought that it would have been better if she was put in the guest room that connected to his bedroom but alas….

"So how did Eleanor and Cyrus take the news?" Serena asked curiously. "Oh I didn't tell them." "Blair!" "What? I gave Doreta orders to do it. She's to call me when it's done." Blair gave a nonchalant shrug and Serena couldn't help but to laugh.

"Did you ever have that conversation with Brooklyn?" "Did you ever have that conversation with Chuck?" "What conversation?" Blair asked feigning innocence. "Oh you know the conversation where you two discuss your I Love You" "Aw… I love you too S."

"Blair!" No! Okay…. I just- It doesn't matter now anyway because I have realized that I have absolutely no future with Chuck Bass." "B that's not true." "Yes it is! Look I'll be the first to admit that I thought I had a future something in the works with Chuck. But I was wrong. I get that now. Chuck and I we're…. _nothing_."

Serena nodded her head and then announced, "He's moved back in." "Back in to his room downstairs?" Blair asked, praying for Serena to say yes. But the blonde shook her head no, "More like back into the penthouse suite with all of us." "WHAT?"

"Well you know Lily didn't like him living alone and she begged for him to come back and I guess he took her up on the offer," Serena explained. "Where?" Blair asked, her voice shaking. "Down the hall. But no worries his room is like 12 whole steps away from yours and that hallway is pretty big." Blair glared at her best friend and the blonde shot her a bright smile, "This shouldn't be a problem B. I mean it's like you said you and Chuck are nothing to be worried about."

Blair released a sigh and changed the subject, "You and Brooklyn?" "We're just friends." Serena revealed quietly. Blair rolled her eyes, "You and Brooklyn will _never_ be just friends." Serena gave a sad smile and shrugged, "And you and Chuck will _never_ be nothing."

He was in a bar. That much he knew. He couldn't tell you which drink he was on or even what he was drinking but if you asked Chuck Bass he could tell you that he was definitely in a bar of some kind.

"Another," he rasped and the bartender didn't even look up as he poured him another shot of…. _something_. _"Chuck and I we're nothing."_ Her words kept ringing in his ears over and over again. _"We're nothing."_ Chuck drowned the shot and gestured for another.

God dammit they were something! They might fight and bicker and know exactly which way to hurt each other the most but they were something. He loved her. Yeah he had never said it aloud and definitely never to her but that feeling was there all the same; like a million Godzilla sized butterflies flying around in his stomach every fucking time that he saw her or even heard her name.

_"Nothing"_ She couldn't say that they were nothing because to him they were _everything._

"Hello," Serena yawned sleepily into her cell phone. "Yeah I know him." She let out a sigh and squinted in the darkness to see the _3:14A.M._ of her alarm clock flashing in the darkness. "Yeah I'll be there just as soon as I can." _I am going to kill him for this._ Is the blonde's only thought as she struggles to pull on clothes in the middle of the night.

She finds him at the bar of a hotel down the street. He's so drunk he can't find the effort to rest his head in his hands and instead lays it on the counter of the bar. Serena sends a grateful smile towards the bartender that called her and then rushes over towards his side.

"What are you doing here?" He slurs and Serena attempts to get him to stand. "I'm trying to get you home. The limo is waiting outside; I don't know why you didn't bring it with you in the first place. This would go quicker if you helped." Chuck just chuckled into his empty glass and made no effort to move.

Serena let out a sigh and collapsed into the barstool next to him. "Look I know you think that he didn't love you or that he wasn't proud of you, but he _did _Chuck." "You can stop with the heart-to-heart or we can keep going if you want. How's your dad S? Oh wait, that's right. You haven't seen him in thirteen years."

She turns away at his harsh words and fights to keep the tears from falling. Her dad is something nobody talks about, mostly because they are the only three outside of the family that know about it. Her, Blair, Nate and Chuck. _The Non-Judgmental Breakfast Club._ She repeats Blair's words in her head and tells herself that Chuck doesn't mean it. _He's drunk, his dad died. The three of us, we're all he has left._ She reminds herself.

"This isn't about _him_ anyway." "Then what's it about," Serena asks softly. He pauses for so long she begins to think that he isn't going to give an answer. "She thinks we're _nothing_. How did it get to that point?" "You were listening?" Serena asked, irritated by this piece of info. She sighs and shakes her head, "Of course you were listening. You're Chuck freaking Bass, you don't have to do mundane things like respect boundaries!"

When she looks at him again his eyes are dark and she doesn't think he has ever looked more alone than he does right now. "You love her," Serena whispered. Chuck ducks his head and the blonde has the answer she is looking for.

"Why not tell her? She told you and you got up and left the next day. Do you know how that made her feel? Do you know how many days she spent crying in bed over you? God Chuck! You broke her heart again and yet somehow you find it completely justifiable to go and get wasted at a bar when she shows any indication of moving on from you. You're worse than Nate, I swear!"

"DON'T SAY THAT!" He roared, startling Serena with his intensity. "Don't you dare say that!" He seethed. "Nathaniel broke her. She loved him and he just tossed her heart aside every chance he got." Serena shook her head and looked him in the eyes, "What do you think you're doing." "You're breaking her all over again. She told you she loved you and you left Chuck."

The pair sat in silence for several long minutes until Serena finally sighed, "Let's just go home okay." Chuck nodded his head silently and with her help the pair walked out the door and into the night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Morning Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. What angst ridden, on-again, off-again couple is currently shacking up in the same residence? Here's a hint it's not ****_Lonelyboy_**** and ****_S_****_._ I spy with my little eye; **_**B****, ****C****, ****S**_** and ****_E_****all under one roof. All we need is for ****_N_ ****to be homeless again ****and it's a full-blown orgy. You know you love me. XOXO. **

"Ugh! Stupid Gossip Bitch," Blair Waldorf muttered into her pillow as she dropped her phone to the floor and prepared herself to snuggle back into the sheets for an extra five minutes of sleep before she had to get up for school.

His chuckle was smooth as it echoed throughout the room, "Someone's a little cranky this morning." "Chuck! Get out of here!" Blair demanded as she turned her back on him. "You know I remember a certain morning ritual we had that would leave you smiling and satisfied. We can engage in it if you want. Would you prefer to be on top or bottom?" He asked innocently.

"Chuck! I swear to God-" Blair hissed as she turned over to yell at him properly. He cut her off by placing the fully bloomed red rose that he held in his left hand against her mouth.

"Be nice," he murmured huskily tracing her lips with the delicate petals of the flower. "Is that for me?" She questioned. "No it's for Mr. Snuggles over there," Chuck retorted gesturing towards her Yale teddy bear that lay at the foot of the bed.

Blair rolled her eyes and snatched the rose from Chuck's hand. "What are you doing in here?" She asked suspiciously as she brought the rose to her nose and inhaled it's sweet scent.

Chuck smirked, "I was on my way downstairs and when I passed your room I heard you _moaning_ my name. Good dream Waldorf?" Blair's face turned as red as the rose she was holding. "I didn't- I wasn't- I mean you heard-"

Chuck simply smiled, leaned in real close and whispered, "Relax. I'm kidding." Blair huffed, "I knew that." She forced a laugh and Chuck gave her his _I-know-you're-lying_ look. God she hated that look.

Blair took a moment to shift around uncomfortably in the bed as Chuck pulled a cream colored envelope out from behind his back. "What's that?" Blair asked mildly curious. "Oh this," Chuck flicked the envelope around in his hand. "Just a letter from Yale."

"WHAT!" Blair screeched as she despartely tried to reach for the letter. "Is it mine? Give it to me!" She demanded moving from underneath the sheets to practically on top of him, trying to grasp the letter.

Chuck grasped her dainty wrist in his hand and pulled Blair's entire body forwards. The momentum caused Blair to go sprawling into his lap. "You didn't say please," Chuck chided against the soft strands of her hair. "You're heinous," Blair declared. Her voice a breathy whisper against his lips. "Then why are you still in my lap?" Chuck asked simply.

Blair quickly removed herself from her straddling position and sat back against the pillows on the bed. She straightened out her hair and then her nightgown before asking once more, "is it mine?"

This time Chuck handed her the letter, " Doreta arrived with it this morning." Blair took the letter into her hands eagerly and then glared up at him, "You opened it!" Chuck merely shrugged, "I was curious." Blair rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and then unfolded the piece of paper that lay inside.

_She shouldn't be this nervous. She was already practically into Yale. Emma said so herself. Still….._ Blair hurriedly unfolded the letter and scanned it quickly. She let out a gasp of surprise and threw her arms around Chuck in a moment of inspired happiness.

"I'M IN!" She yelled happily. Chuck returned her embrace, his own hands moving down to rest against her back._ Don't let her go!_ A voice in his head screamed but Chuck had no time to listen as the moment was over and Blair was off running down the hallway to tell Serena the good news. _Don't let her go. _His mind repeated.

"I can't believe it….Yale!" Blair gushed as she walked down the school hallway with Serena. "It's like a dream come true. I've waited for this moment practically my entire life and now it's finally here." The curly haired brunette released a blissful sigh before turning to her friend and asking, "Have you told Brooklyn about your acceptance letter yet?"

Serena bit her lip and shook her head no, " I'm afraid to share the good news only to find out that he didn't get accepted." Blair rolled her eyes, "This is your moment S, don't let anyone ruin it. Especially not Dan _Humphrey_." Blair twisted her face up at his last name as if it were a contagious disease and this time it was the blonde who rolled her eyes.

The two girls walked into their Shakespearean classroom and took their seats. Miss Carr began passing back their papers and Blair ignored the woman choosing instead to talk to Iz in quiet whispers until her own paper landed upon her desk.

Blair looked down at her grade written in big, bold writing and instantly protested, "This is wrong! It's a B. I deserved an A." The class full of gossiping girls fell silent as everyone turned their attention towards Blair and Miss Carr.

"Actually, the young teacher began, you deserved the grade you were given. It was a B paper Blair. There won't be any changes made." And with that Miss Carr headed to the front of the classroom to begin teaching.

Blair's eyes narrowed and she crumpled the paper up in her hand. _Uh-oh!_ Serena thought silently as Blair seethed in the seat next to her. "Her career is over!" Blair hissed turning towards Hazel and Iz to come up with a master plan to bring down Miss Carr.

"No-no-no!" Serena cried quietly as she tugged on Blair's coat forcing the brunette to turn her attention back towards the blonde. "I'll talk to her okay. See if she's willing to reconsider. Just don't do anything drastic B please." "Fine, Blair conceded, but if she refuses than I get to destroy her." Serena released a sigh and then nodded her head as she slid back into her seat.

His gravestone was easy to find. It was easily the biggest and most expensive one around. Chuck scoffed, even in death his father had to prove that he was bigger and better than anyone else.

He stood there for a long time just staring at the gravestones. His mother's grave marker was smaller, less extravagant. _His mother and father…. together again._ Chuck swallowed and shook his head. _God he was so messed up. No wonder Blair didn't want to be with him. She deserved someone that was whole not broken and twisted like he was._

Chuck narrowed his eyes in anger and glared at his father's head stone. _It was his entire fucking fault._ Chuck decided. Bart had made him into who he was today. If he was broken and twisted it was because Bart had made him that way; always making him believe that he was responsible for his mothers death, never telling him I Love You or I'm Proud Of You Son. _God it was no wonder he was fucked up. He had never stood a chance._

Chuck shook his head in disgust. "You never treated me like your son. Never! You kept me around like I was a fucking nuisance and nothing I ever did was good enough for you. Nothing! All I ever wanted was for to be proud of me. Just once! That's all I wanted."

Chuck confessed as he ran a hand over his face, "And you couldn't give it to me. You couldn't give me anything. Not your love, not your support, the only thing you ever gave me was money."

"But it's fine," Chuck whispered. "I don't need you. Never have and never will. The only thing I need is _her_. She means everything to me and I can have her….all I have to do is tell her that I Love Her."

Chuck paused to laugh bitterly, "But of course I can't do it. I've never said those words to anybody. You made sure of that." Chuck shook his head in anger and began to pace back and forth in front of the head stones as his mind reeled with thoughts.

After a few moments his anger got the best of him and Chuck turned towards Bart's headstone as he yelled, "Screw You!" to the wind. "I'm not going to let you ruin me anymore Dad. I deserve to be happy. I fucking deserve that! I'm going to tell Blair how I really feel about her and we're going to be together. And I'm going to be fucking happy because that's how she makes me feel; happy and….. and loved."

Chuck stood still then and blinked back his tears; "I don't wanna be you anymore. I don't wanna be a miserable, cold bastard. I just…. don't." He added lamently.

Serena found Blair sitting next to Jenny on the steps at lunch. "So…" Blair looked up at Serena expectedly. "Miss Carr has agreed to raise your B to an A if you decide to participate in the extra credit opportunity she is presenting." Blair raised an eyebrow, "What kind of opportunity are we discussing here S?"

Serena released a sigh as she took a seat next to Blair on the steps. "You have to be in the school's play." "Play," Blair echoed. "The modern retelling of William Shakespeare's _The Taming of a Shrew_. Guess which part she wants you to play?"

Jenny nearly choked at this and Blair sent the girl a mild glare. Jenny simply smiled brightly at Blair, "You should do the play Blair. You can star opposite Dan. I can see it now _Waldorf and Humphrey_. I can see your names glowing in bright lights already."

"Brooklyn's doing the play?" Blair inquired. Serena slowly nodded her head yes, "It's a Constance/St. Jude's performance. And Miss Carr did confess that she thinks Dan would be perfect for the male lead." Blair begins to protest but Serena cuts her off, "Look B if you want to make that A, this is what you're going to have to do."

"Play Juliet to _your_ Romeo. I think I'll pass." "Actually it's Katherina to Petruchio. And it won't be the nightmare you're making it out to be. I already volentered to do set design and Jenny, they're still looking for someone to help out with costume design."

"Cool," the blonde murmered. "I'm in." "See, Serena prodded Blair, Jenny and I will be there as well. C'mon it'll be fun!" "Fun?" Blair repeated. "Okay, Serena releted, maybe fun isn't the approiate word but it will be manageable."

Blair continued to sit and say nothing causing Serena to let out a sigh. _Guess it's time to play dirty_. "You know what Blair I was just trying to help. I mean if Yale catches word about this B that you're making….."

Blair's expression instantly changed, "No they can't!" "Fine I'll do it," the brunnete relented and Serena squeeled in happiness. "This _is_ going to be fun! You'll see." The blonde made her way off to share the news with Miss Carr.

Jenny sat back against the steps as she finshed eating her apple, "I wonder how much fun she still thinks it is when you're forced to make out with Dan." Blair face went deathy white from that thought and Jenny couldn't contain the giggles that escaped.

His stride was determined as he walked through Bass Industries. He had a purpose, he knew what he wanted and he knew the means of going about to achieve it. He didn't bother knocking as he stepped into his father's old office.

_"He can't find out what happened." "Agreed."_ His entrance caused the pair to stop their conversation. "Chuck!" Blair looked at him in surpurise. "What are you doing here?" Jack asked his nephew curiously. "Where were you today?" Blair asked concerned. "Nate said you blew off school again. You heard what Headmistress Queller said, You have to-"

"What are you doing here Blair?" Chuck asked her. _What are you doing here with him?_ His mind demanded to know. "I-I was concerned… about you. You weren't in school today and I thought I would pop in and see if Jack knew where you were." _She's lying._ His mind screamed.

Awkard silence filled the room and Blair finally broke it,"I'm going to go." She tried to catch Chuck's gaze as she exited the office but he refused to look at her. Blair bit her lip and hung her head as she left.

Chuck turned to his uncle as the door shut behind her. "What the hell was that about?"

_Spoiler for upcoming chapters:_

** Okay now I know some of you might be worried about what happened between Blair and Jack and I want to state that they did not sleep together and that Blair would never intentionally hurt Chuck by fooling around with his uncle. Hint-Hint: Think along the lines of what happened to Lily in the bathroom.


End file.
